Light Heartedness, Courage, and Redemption
I just had a mindfulness practice session in which I felt so much guilt and remorse, but it was actually quite alright because I felt physically and psychologically safe. I noticed a dry throat and a sourness in the mouth, along with heat and rumbles in the chest and belly. The thought that came to mind was “what have I done?”
I thought of this painting that I did some months back, titled “The Immeasurable Heart Measured’:
Maybe it’s not sensitive or kind enough to people with body weight struggles. “What have I done?”
My teacher Diana Winston taught that the Latin root of courage, “cor”, means heart and the original meaning was something similar to “strength of heart.” I saw that saw that the painting means this too.
And I saw Oprah’s tremendous courage and beauty, and maybe even a glimpse of a little of her suchness, her essence. At the end of the practice session, I contemplated on scandals, which have beset most of us to some extent, not just the famous like Oprah and Ellen. If you recall, Ellen had a scandal in which she was seen by some as hypocritical. She was revealed by some to be unkind at times behind the scenes while ending her show with “be kind.” Oprah, too, recently has been criticized for not being open enough about her body weight journey.
I saw that the lightheartedness of a scenario of Oprah on the Ellen show or Ellen on the Oprah show, maybe talking about redemption.